Friday, December 10, 2010

Trailer Talk: Left Behind 3 the Video Game

Today I went to see The Chronicles of Narnia: Voyage of the Dawn Treader. A review is pending because I want to look up a few things to refresh my memory about the book and see if they added what I think they added. For now, I want to talk about a trailer I saw waiting for the movie to begin. It was for Left Behind 3: The Rise of the Antichrist, The Video Game.

First of all, the idea of a Left Behind video game series is pretty damn laughable, since most of these guys probably agree with Jack Thompson and think video games are inherently tools of evil and corruption. So, the idea that they went ahead and made a real-time strategy game based on the books, let alone three of them, is amazing in and of itself.

But the trailer? Oh, man, I wish I could find it on the internet to show you guys because it was a work of horrible, racist, ham-handed, misused art. It was like watching the live-action movie adaption of a Jack Chick Tract.

Let me break it down for you step-by-step.

We open with a clean-cut and very white young man of the “such a nice boy” variety, walking down the sidewalk with a lovely guitar strapped over his back. It’s a beautiful day, the sun is shining, and there’s a bridge up ahead, which he chooses to pass under to reach his destination.

But uh-oh! Lurking beneath that bridge is a dangerous gang of Latino and African-American stereotypes, who surround our nice young man, blocking his path and demanding that he pay their toll in heavily-accented, inherently violent slang. The Nice Young Man, who speaks perfect American English, holds himself straight and says that he’s just trying to get to his friend’s house. The leader of the gang slouches forward. “Too bad hombre, you pass through our turf you gotta pay our tolls. So what’cha gonna give me?”

One of the gang members spots the Nice Young Man’s lovely guitar and points it out to the boss. The Nice Young Man is horrified. “I’m not going to give you my father’s guitar!”

But it seems that the Nice Young Man will not have a choice, as the vicious and violent ethnic gang closes in on him from all sides, determine to rip his father’s precious instrument from his cold, dead hands if they have to. The Nice Young Man turns his eyes to the heavens and prays, “God, give me the power to resist this temptation, and forgive them for what they do!”

Whereupon he swings the guitar from his back and gives it a mighty strum, summoning the white-hot power of the Lord to blow his enemies away.

Just. Wow. XD

4 comments:

  1. Ha! So that one yesterday. Outstanding review of the trailer. I too was comically offended...

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  2. Wow. Why am I not the least bit surprised that you got almost everything wrong?

    "agree with Jack Thompson and think video games are inherently tools of evil and corruption"

    No, actually, we don't. Video games are tools of entertainment, and like any tool, they can be used positively or negatively. As for Thompson, as far as I know, he doesn't think that about all video games, either -- just the ones that really are evil and corrupt. Also, Thompson condemned the first Left Behind game (based on the false rumors that were spread about it), so really, it's you who are agreeing with him. How ironic!

    "Racist."

    Yep, when in doubt, play the race card. Never mind the fact that a couple of the gang members are white. Never mind that the "gang member stereotype" is actually based on the very real fact that lots of gang members do dress and act the exact same way (just like the "Goth stereotype" of black hair, black makeup, black clothes, etc.). Never mind the fact that even if they had made the gang members all white, you'd still call it racist. And never mind the fact that if it really is so racist, how did they ever get these non-white actors to agree to be in it?

    "Too bad hombre"

    This is never spoken.

    "you pass through our turf you gotta pay our tolls. So what’cha gonna give me?"

    Slightly accurate. Very slightly. Nothing about paying any "tolls."

    "God, give me the power to resist this temptation, and forgive them for what they do!"

    Wow. No. He prays, "God, give me courage and show them mercy."

    "Whereupon he swings the guitar from his back and gives it a mighty strum, summoning the white-hot power of the Lord to blow his enemies away."

    Again, no. First of all, haven't you ever seen a video game commercial before? Lots of them portray the games' animated pixels using real-life actors. Second, the SFX are not about "blowing his enemies away" -- i.e. the gang members don't die.

    "I wish I could find it on the internet to show you guys"

    Ask and ye shall receive.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_DuVF841b3g

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  3. Another blogger critical of this commercial called the gang "the MOST ethnically diverse and open-minded gang I have ever seen." So which is it? Is it racist or not? Or perhaps racism is in the eye of the beholder. You know, like how Republican Joe Wilson's "You lie!" outburst at Obama was called racist but when a Democrat says "F--- the president!" it's not.

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  4. Someone false flagged the video I linked to at the end of my first comment.

    "This video has been removed as a violation of YouTube's policy against spam, scams, and commercially deceptive content. "

    Yeah, right.

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