Hey everybody! Let’s play the “Form Rejection Letter Drinking Game”! Just grab your latest rejection letter and a bottle of your favorite drink (though depending on your tolerance, you might want to stick to something low-key) and follow along.
If your form rejection letter is…
Addressed to “Author” – Take one shot
Addressed to you by name, but they blatantly spell it incorrectly or get your title wrong (Dear Mr. Fannin) – Take two shots and reassure yourself that gender-neutral names have a tendency to sell better in certain markets.
Opened with the words “Thank you for submitting/giving me the chance/sending/whatever” – Take one shot for good technical communication strategies.
States that the agent is “not right” for you/your work/your project – Take one shot
Includes the line “The industry is subjective,” – Take one shot
“It only takes one person saying ‘yes’…” – Take one shot and try to quell my irrational hatred of this really condescending little line.
Includes oddly specific details, but it still clearly a form rejection (“Dear Author, though your subject matter is interesting and your characters engaging…”) – Take two shots. Maybe then it’ll make sense.
Apologizing for the form rejection, but can’t give personalized ones because of, “the volume of submissions” – Take a shot
Includes space for the agent to add her signature at the end, only she didn’t bother to even stamp it – Take a shot
Isn’t even pretending to be from the agent herself and is instead signed by her assistant – Take two shots
And if the assistant doesn’t even bother to include their name – Finish the bottle
WARNING: Please drink responsibly and never write drunk. For one thing, your motor control is totally shot and it’s really hard to see the keyboard.
Current NaNo Stats
Page Count: 76
Word Count: 23,300
Story progress: Skipped half of Chapter 7. Moved on to Chapter 8.
Status: Still out of ideas. Flying by the seat of my pants again