Today I went to see The Chronicles of Narnia: Voyage of the Dawn Treader. A review is pending because I want to look up a few things to refresh my memory about the book and see if they added what I think they added. For now, I want to talk about a trailer I saw waiting for the movie to begin. It was for Left Behind 3: The Rise of the Antichrist, The Video Game.
First of all, the idea of a Left Behind video game series is pretty damn laughable, since most of these guys probably agree with Jack Thompson and think video games are inherently tools of evil and corruption. So, the idea that they went ahead and made a real-time strategy game based on the books, let alone three of them, is amazing in and of itself.
But the trailer? Oh, man, I wish I could find it on the internet to show you guys because it was a work of horrible, racist, ham-handed, misused art. It was like watching the live-action movie adaption of a Jack Chick Tract.
Let me break it down for you step-by-step.
We open with a clean-cut and very white young man of the “such a nice boy” variety, walking down the sidewalk with a lovely guitar strapped over his back. It’s a beautiful day, the sun is shining, and there’s a bridge up ahead, which he chooses to pass under to reach his destination.
But uh-oh! Lurking beneath that bridge is a dangerous gang of Latino and African-American stereotypes, who surround our nice young man, blocking his path and demanding that he pay their toll in heavily-accented, inherently violent slang. The Nice Young Man, who speaks perfect American English, holds himself straight and says that he’s just trying to get to his friend’s house. The leader of the gang slouches forward. “Too bad hombre, you pass through our turf you gotta pay our tolls. So what’cha gonna give me?”
One of the gang members spots the Nice Young Man’s lovely guitar and points it out to the boss. The Nice Young Man is horrified. “I’m not going to give you my father’s guitar!”
But it seems that the Nice Young Man will not have a choice, as the vicious and violent ethnic gang closes in on him from all sides, determine to rip his father’s precious instrument from his cold, dead hands if they have to. The Nice Young Man turns his eyes to the heavens and prays, “God, give me the power to resist this temptation, and forgive them for what they do!”
Whereupon he swings the guitar from his back and gives it a mighty strum, summoning the white-hot power of the Lord to blow his enemies away.
Just. Wow. XD